I’m at a 3-days training for EVS (European Voluntary Service) volunteers from different countries in Europe, currently residing all across Turkey. This is the second meeting with the group, but I missed the first one so I don’t actually know anything or anyone. We will see how this will go; most people hang out quite a lot according to their organisations, and everyone seems to know each other already.
During the first evening, we had some kind of get-to-know-each-other activities, but I didn’t actually get to know anything apart from 8 persons names. So…
Day 2, we had a session on learning styles. I learned that good morning in Czech/Slovakian is dobre rano. (y) Then we did some stuff on how to fill in the Youthpass (like, what we learned about our mother tongue, science and maths, etc…), but honestly I cannot imagine my future employers caring much about this, if I continue within medicine (which is my plan, of course). In the afternoon, we were off for Ephesus and Sirince 🙂
So, Europe. I didn’t think that I could get more disappointed. Now maybe that’s unfair; disappointment usually comes with expectations, and I shouldn’t have had any expectations in the first place. But still, Europe. I’m still waiting for someone to tell me that I’ve misunderstood everything, or that this is just a bad dream (which is very much less likely than the first alternative, which is actually possible).
A deal was signed between EU and Turkey 5 days ago, on the 18th of March. What it actually means, I honestly don’t know. I don’t even know if anyone knows. I only know that it created chaos over one night. A friend called from one of the Greek islands. This is not a camp, this is a prison, they said. They are cold, they don’t have blankets. They are hungry – they’re queuing for food but the food always runs out before they reach it. There is a kiosk just a few meters away, but they are not allowed to go outside. No one is there to help them, and no one knows what is happening. Protests. Violence. I don’t know what is happening, I don’t recognise this description. I googled. Internet barely seems to know what is happening.
Idomeni, Greece
Most volunteers and NGOs left the refugee camps, as these suddenly turned into detention centers. Some of them were forced to leave, others left as a statement to show their disapproval with the development. Volunteers and NGOs, who had been providing food, clothes, healthcare and moral-mental support in these areas for months and months. I read that the military is now controlling the areas, I see pictures of misery. I hear about how refugees who have fled war and persecution, who have just crossed the Aegean Sea in a dinghy boat, are arrested after they’ve been pulled out from the water. As if they haven’t been through enough trauma.
I want to hear that these are only false rumours, exaggerations, but I’m afraid they are not. Finding verified information is extremely difficult. What I know though, is that the EU-Turkey agreement has been heavily criticised by not the least Amnesty, Medecins Sans Frontiers and the UNHCR. It has been criticised by every person and organisation I know of, who is trying to help the refugees and improve their conditions. But okay, what is this agreement actually about?
For one, the return of ”all irregular migrants crossing from Turkey into Greek Islands” back to Turkey, which will be done ”in full compliance with EU and international law, thus excluding any kind of collective expulsion”. To my ears, the ”return of all” already sounds like collective expulsion, but what do I know, I’m only a layman. Now, the deal goes on describing how the right to apply for asylum in Greece still withholds. However, if Turkey is seen as a safe third country, they will be deported back to Turkey. Whether Turkey is really a safe third country or not is debatable, but most probably it will be considered such in a majority of cases.
For the one who cares, my train of thoughts went from ”everyone will be deported” to ”wait, if everyone gets deported, who is applying for asylum?” to ”oh, so only the ones who don’t register will be deported” to ”all pretty words are empty words”. I still don’t know what is happening, but let me just expect the worst.
Moving on with that train, what does Turkey get ”in return” for watching their borders more closely, and taking back the refugees who had crossed to Greece? As you see, I’m assuming that few countries actually want to take responsibility for people who need protection, without anything in return. Turkey gets 3 billion euros, development towards visa free travel within Schengen and maybe a brighter outlook on EU membership. Also, for every Syrian sent back from Greece to Turkey, one person will be resettled from a Turkish camp to an European country.
Let me see if I got that right. The number of resettlement opportunities for Syrian refugees in Turkey will depend on the number of people risking their lives in small inflatable boats across the Aegean Sea. We are trading with people’s lives and desperation. What is the price of one resettlement spot? What do you want, Europe, what do you want? So, if Europe wants resettlement, Europe want more people to cross the sea. Which Europe actually doesn’t want, which is why there are measures taken against human smugglers, and which is why Europe is sending the people back. Uhum.
Europe, you want refugees to stay away from your borders, I understand. If this plan is successful, the number of irregular crossings will stop. Smugglers will be caught, refugees will be deterred from going. Well, I don’t think that will happen. People are desperate. People are not risking their lives for fun, not today, not ever. Maybe, it will be more dangerous. More expensive. More lives lost. Is that what you want, Europe? Also, I should mention that this trade of refugees does not seem to apply for other nationalities, such as Afghans and Iraqis, who constituted about 50% of all arrivals to Lesvos last month.
Sorry, I got carried away. Back to the resettlement spots; there will be a limit of 72’000 guaranteed spots in total, as I understood it because the EU countries did not want to enter the deal and leave this open. Fair enough. 72’000 people is a lot. In October last year, over 135’000 people arrived. To one Greek island. Just saying. And Turkey. Is Turkey, who has not even fully adopted the refugee convention, going to take care of all the refugees fleeing from the neighbouring countries? I don’t know if Europe actually thinks that Turkey can handle this better than European countries can, or if Europe is happy as long as they don’t have to think too much about it, regardless of the consequences in their backyard.
This reminds me of two things actually.
First: The Dublin Regulation. I could not understand how the Dublin regulation (refugee seekers should apply for asylum in the first EU/Schengen country that they arrive to, eg Italy) could exist. Once, we went for a study visit to the Migration Board. We spoke to the communication officer; I asked so many questions that they must’ve hated me. ”Can you please explain how the Dublin Regulation is a good idea?” I asked, and the lady could not answer. I was surprised, I had expected some kind of excuse at least. They must have been asked this question before? Anyhow, I suppose the EU-Turkey deal has a similar rationale.
Second: This reminds me of what is happening in Sweden right now. The government is proposing changes to reduce the number of asylum seekers in Sweden, for example through temporary instead of permanent residency permits, decreased possibility of family reunification and abolition of two other acceptance groups (I don’t know how I should describe it in English..). These suggestions has received heavy criticism from most experts within the area, everyone from Amnesty to the Employment Service to the Children’s Ombudsman. Will the government carry it through anyways? The one who lives will see, as we say in Swedish.
Meanwhile, innocent people continue to suffer.
Disclaimer: I like law, but I’m not sure law likes me. Feel free to prove me wrong on above mentioned points. Please do, for once I might be happy to be wrong.
What’s on my mind? Bombs in Belgium, I guess few of you have missed. Condolences to the affected, to humanity.
Quite worried about the consequences, I just have to add: This kind of violence is what causes people to flee from their homes around the world. This kind of violence aims to create fear and hatred. Please don’t fall for it, don’t let it win. I know it’s hard to not be afraid. It’s natural to be afraid. It’s not wrong to be afraid. We want to build walls and close doors, because it makes us feel safer. Also in our house, we’ve mostly stayed home since last week. Don’t get me wrong – fear is crucial in self preservation. However much can we protect ourselves – against what, and at what cost?
The only thing I know, is that hatred will not build peace. If someone wants to hurt us, they will. Never before have I felt our mortality so tangible. If we want, we could live our lives in fear, and it would be justified. Sometimes, I fear mankind and I feel like hiding in a corner under a blanket (I know, blankets don’t protect much against physical violence). But let us not punish the most vulnerable people. Let us remember that the perpetrators are not religions or ethnicities. Possibly ideologies – extreme ideologies bred in inequality, ignorance and hate. Ideologies that want to create more inequality, segregation and fear. Let us not feed the fire – we will all get burnt.
On another note, I see quite some criticism of the disproportional amount of attention this gets compared to other incidents around the world. Do I agree? I think yes. As I now live in Turkey, I’m quite aware of attacks here. In the western part of the country, I should add. But how many of you have read about, heard of or grieved over the bus bomb in Peshawar (Pakistan) or the suicide attack in a mosque in Maiduguri (Nigeria), last week? I admit, I had not until today.
I don’t think it’s wrong to feel stronger about certain things than others, I don’t think that we have to speak about every problem in order to justify speaking at all. If that would be the case, we would certainly never be able to speak at all – although traditional media and politicians at least, could take a greater responsibility. Nevertheless, let this be a reminder of the injustice, and let us work against it every day. Not only days when it is extra visible in social media.
On a third note: EU-Turkey deal. Maybe related, not so related. Actually, I’ll write about that tomorrow instead.
Photo: Lighthouse camp, Lesvos, December 2015. Because we can. I’m sure we can.
Gave my first English classes today. The kids are very cute, super excited and extremely affectionate. The whole everything is very different from Sweden, for good and for bad. It was an interesting experience, but honestly I don’t think that I want to continue with these. First of all, I’m not an English teacher. Is it really in the kids best interest to have me teaching? We’re not supposed to do formal education within EVS anyways, and definitely not supposed to substitute other employees. But then again, I’ve heard that no one teaches them English if we don’t. I don’t know how the Turkish school system works, I suppose I should figure that out.
Anyhow, although I have done some teaching and similar before before this is waaaayyy above my competences. They had fun, sure, but I’m not teaching. I don’t know, if we would just call the activity ”mess around and play” then it would be quite alright I suppose, although that might not be exactly what I want to do either. We don’t have much of proper impact assessment and quality assurance. They will surely not learn much English from me, and I don’t like this idea even though a co-volunteer keeps telling me that the important part is to give them a positive connotation of the English language, for the future, rather than having them acquiring actual knowledge. What is my aim? What is my goal in life? No just kidding. I’m confused.
So, you might or might not wonder, how was these lessons actually? Background info: primary school in a socioeconomically vulnerable area. I had four classes, each 40 minutes, with four groups of first year students. Some of them were able to read, some had not yet learned it. It’s funny though because they read everything with the Turkish alphabet pronounciation, so I was weighing the benefit of teaching them the correct spelling versus the ‘phonetic’ spelling, and ended with the latter. So teacher became tiğçer and goodbye became gıdbay. They had English last year as well with another volunteer, the amount that they remembered was… varying.
I was alone with the students; for every lesson I entered the classroom right when the bell rang and the children would swarm around me, making sounds of excitement and shouting ”İngilizce öğretmeni!”. I would try to make them sit down, and talk a little bit. Some 5 minutes later, their ordinary teacher would show up, looking very puzzled about my presence. We would exchange some words in Turkish (such as, ”Oh, I didn’t know that you’d be here! Are you teaching English?”, ”yes”, ”okay, good luck!”) and then they would leave again. Ughh. Let me tell you about the four classes. In every class, there would be a few kids sitting down and listening, but the vast majority would spend most of the time running around, chasing each other, fighting, and I don’t know what. Oh well.
Class 1: I was quite nervous, as it was the first class. I soon realised that there was not much to be nervous about, because everything was chaos no matter what I did haha. No but. They were around 20 kids, very sweet. However, fighting way too much. Don’t know how many times some kids ended up crying after hurting themselves or others hurting them or I don’t even… And then they’d be like ”He hit me!” ”He took my pen!” and running around. But some of the girls were very helpful and also tried to make everyone sit down and listen and do their stuff. Someone asked to use the bathroom, and I said okay. Suddenly, 70% of the class was out and heading for the bathroom. Wups.
Class 2: This was a smaller class, maybe 14 students. Nevertheless, it was crazy. The kids were once again very sweet – the class started with a spontaneous group hug. And when I was at the board talking, one of the girls would randomly run up to me and hug me. Then, of course, someone wanted to go to the bathroom. Okay, I agreed, Another one raised their hand immediately, and wanted to go as well. Learning from my previous mistake, I said no, and explained that it would be one person at a time. So far so good, right? Well, all of a sudden, I turned around for a second and the kids had started to paint each others faces instead of the papers. And suddenly, half of the class was outside the classroom for no reason at all, completely oblivious for what I was saying. I managed to get them back, but then some others else left. And so it went, around and round.
Class 3: What to say. Someone had brought candy, which is of course much more interesting than I could ever be. Their ordinary teacher entered and yelled at the kids to sit down. The candy provider looked at her, and moved in slowmotion to his seat as to provoke a response. The teacher left. There was loud music all of a sudden. The kids rushed to the window and then to the door. Something was happening out there. Then, another adult came and scolded the kids for running around. She remained standing, gazing firmly towards the spectacle. Some kids were standing as well. Was it their national anthem playing? Shame on me for not knowing. I figured that I might as well wait until this was over. The music eventually ended, but there was still noise from outside, making the kids very curious – they constantly tried to sneak out. I had no idea what was going on. Later, I learned that it was a theater play to celebrate the anniversary of the Çanakkale Zaferi. One of the boys from this class had a role in the play, and he returned after half of the class. He was a star – the kids hugged him so that I was almost afraid that he’d suffocate. The girls tried to kiss him and everybody wanted to sit next to him.
Class 4: Oh, oh. This class was sweet for the first… one minute maybe. They were all sitting on their chairs, claiming to be the best student. I turn around, and one student is sitting on the table instead. I ask him to sit on the chair, but all of a sudden, everyone is sitting on their tables. Their ordinary teacher entered and yelled at the kids for their misbehaviour. ”Who started?” she asked, and the kids pointed at each other. Then, she proceeded on to telling me how bad they all were, and told me that this was the worst class. Well, they were also sweet in their way; while I was talking I could suddenly find everyone standing in a circle around me at the blackboard, I would tell them to go back to their desks, and two minutes later they’d be up front again. Odd. This class was more difficult in one way because they’d try to take things from my hands as I was holding them. But well, I survived.
Those were my hours of English teaching. I think I could’ve handled the kids better, but then again I tell myself that I don’t have any training in this, so it’s okay to not know it. (Which is why also I maybe should not do this, especially not alone, according to my opinion). The other teachers mostly made the kids listen by screaming in falsetto. I jumped the first time I heard it; I’ve never heard such screaming before, not in a classroom, and not sure even if anywhere else… ”They will be naughty if you’re not angry,” one teacher said to me after yelling at her class. It’s not my style and I don’t know if it’s anything that I believe in either. Working with big groups of kids is not something that I’m not planning on continue doing in my professional life, and honestly I don’t know if these are skills that I want to prioritize.
In summary, if these lessons are really beneficial for the kids, more beneficial than whatever they would do otherwise, and if there is no options of another durable solution, I might be able to consider continuing with it. Otherwise, I’m out. All I know is that the next time I see a copying machine or a printer, I will appreciate it more than ever before.
37 people dead, 125 injured, they say. The third attack in less than 6 months in Ankara. This time, the car carrying the bomb exploded in the heart of our city. In the middle of everything. At the bus stop that we used every week. At the metro station that I entered two days ago. At the park where we normally meet our friends. At a place full of people waiting for the bus, relaxing in the park and living their life.
The victims were not soldiers, not politicians, not even activists of any kind. They were just humans. Civilians. Just like anybody, just like us. Students – many students. I cannot imagine the pain of their families and their friends. And my friends. Maybe that’s why it’s too hard to hold back my tears today. It could have been me, it could’ve been any of us. We were lucky that we did not decide to go there at that time. But then again, life is already a lottery. Any safety that we have is by luck. It could always be any of us. I suppose we tend to forget about it until reality slaps us in the face.
I wonder what can make a human do such a thing to innocent people around them. I wonder, what pushed them to this point, what is their goal? This attack feels scarier in some way as it was completely indiscriminate towards the civilians, and due to its manifest location. Maybe also because it seems to suggest an unpleasant pattern and an undesirable development in the region. I can no longer say that life here looks and feels like normal, even though we still do the normal things – whatever normal means.
In spite of this, I’m not feeling afraid. I just… don’t even know what I’m feeling at the moment, or if I’m feeling anything. The darkness sometimes seems overwhelming. I see that there are acts of retaliation. More people will suffer. Reading that some 14’000 people are stuck at the Greek-Macedonian border, trying to find safety in Europe. One thousand people trekking across a river, three of them drowning. And the wars, in the countries already so much torn by war that we have almost forgotten about them. Still going on. A friend once told me to not read the news, maybe that is a good advice.
Today, my thoughts are with the victims of this attack. The injured, the deceased, their families and relatives. Please pray for them if you pray. For the whole society, for all of humanity. for the misfortunate people who see no better way than violence. And then, we have to do something. Anything. You don’t have to be Ankara, you don’t have to feel with us. But now, every action is needed. When the morning comes, I will also look ahead. We can be broken, we can be demoralised and scared. But in the end I am certain that we will stand strong – because we don’t have much choice. I do have the option of leaving the country, as opposed to most citizens. However, I would rather stand here. This is our world, and we have to stand together.
On my way home to Ankara. We were eating dinner when a friend suddenly tells us that there has been a bomb attack. Central Ankara. Pictures of burning cars at places where we used to hang out. Again.
Once again texting friends in the area and receiving worried calls. Haven’t found much more news, I think there was a rather high number of casualties…
VS (European Voluntary Service) volunteers from different countries in Europe, currently residing all across Turkey. This is the second meeting with the group, but I missed the first one so I don’t actually know anything or anyone. We will see how this will go; most people hang out quite a lot according to their organisations, and everyone seems to know each other already.
Jessmindbox 